Alcohol

Alcohol

By Anise

A little bit happy

It makes you a fucking idiot

One “oops” incident

And you’re the fuck of the town

So this was supposedly written by the dog...I'm gonna go ahead and blame in on Anastasia. I wish I had a really good story about how this dog had a really bad problem with alcohol and would get really slutty...actually I think it would be funnier if she was a mean drunk and went around telling people what she REALLY thought of them.

I have no idea why the accompanying graphic is a TV set that is either endorsing snacks or a 70's cop show. On a semi-related note. when we were little Monica had a crush on Erik Estrada who played Officer Ponch on CHiP's so she cut out a picture of him off the tv guide and ate it. Not really sure n the logic of that, but we giggled about it for years. We'd be laying in bed trying to go to sleep or something and one of us would say "Remember that time I (you) had a picture of Erik Estrada and I (you) ate it?" And we would just laaaugh...That kids, is how we kept ourselves entertained way back in the days before the internet.

I'm a genius

This has nothing to do with anything and it's not even from the same time period as the Hiroshima Club, since I just made her a few weeks ago but she came out really good and I felt like bragging.

 

Her name is Olive.

Anise

Anise

By Anastasia

Anise the dog

Quite obnoxious

She’s adorable

Dumb, dumb dog

Gotta love her

I have no  idea who this Anastasia was. I think I have mentioned this before. All I remember is that she was a friend of Monica's and that she owned Anise. I wonder if she will ever come across this and be really offended that I remember her dog but not her. I wonder if she's the one who drew that fabulous portrait of Anise. But most of all I wonder, who the hell was Anastasia?

Diva

Diva

By Monica

Anise can’t eat Cheetos

Only drinks bottled water

Can’t cross the street alone

Mom won’t let her stay home

Alone for too long

Her barking’s so annoying

Her Vienna sausage

Looks so yummy

She’s tiny and divine

Go get laid

Cuz I want a puppy

I always  forget who's dog Anise was. I've asked Monica  a million times and I still always forget. I just know that it was some friend of hers.

Apparently Anise was very popular at the time because there's quite a few poems about her coming up and even a Reader Profile even though I don't think she ever actually read the zine. She might have peed on it once though.

BTW, I must take a minute here to say Vienna Sausages are very underrated. Yes they look more like erasers than actual food and that water that they come packed with smells kinda nasty, but my mom has been making those since I was little and I kinda like them. Must be the same way Americans feel about Baloney. Yes, I know I'm technically American too being that I was born in the US and I live here but I mean the kind of Americans without Cuban parents to make them yellow rice with Vienna sausages.

I never had fried baloney until I was like 23.

Reader of the Month Mystery Edition

Reader of the Month

Name

Someone who'd have a hissy if she saw her name here but would not regognize her answers so I'm just going to go ahead and print them anyway since I'm running out of issues to reprint.

Place of birth

Miami

That will narrow down the possible suspects.

Hair color

Red with blonde streaks

I don't remember this, but we all had many hair colors back then.

1^st record bought

AC/DC

What do you spend your money on?

Food, thrifting, bills

Yeah, we were big on thrift shopping back then, before it got mainstream. Not that I give a crap about it being trendy, but now that the thrift stores know the value of retro clothes, they price accordingly. It used to be nothing was over $5 and there was even one Goodwill store where all the clothes were 60 cents ALL THE TIME! 

Most fanciable being in the universe?

Jim Morrison (if you knew me, you would know)

 we were best friend at the time and I don't remember her ever mentioning Jim Morrison ever before or after this interview.

Most disgusting thing you’ve ever had in your mouth:

1 year old tic tac

 How does that even happen?

Fave clothes:

I dunno but I’m sure it was under $3.50

See. I told you!

What are you afraid of?

Little things that crawl under your bed at night and tickle your toes

When I was little my mother would say she was going to die and pull on my toes while I was sleeping if I was bad. Apparently that's what Cuban ghosts do.

 

Fave insect

Ladybug

Fave holiday

Xmas

Do you want to get married?

Eventually

 I understand that she did. No idea if she's still married though.

Fave flower

Bright pink daisies

Describe your room

A big mess

Isn't everybody's?

 

Ideal picnic

A romantic rendezvous with the man of my dreams

Isn't everybody's?

  

What do you do when you’re depressed?

Listen to mambo and pretend I know how to

Hair care regimen

I wash it

Fave salad dressing

Caesar

Beverage order

Diet coke or almond tea

Fave TV show

My so called life

I've still never watched that show, but I've heard good things.

Best dream

The flying dream

I dunno about that. My flying dream is usually followed by my falling dream.

Fave phase

New wave

Worst TV show

Models Inc

I've still never watched that show, but I've heard bad things. 

Shoppers at Night

Shoppers at Night

Go home already!

If you haven’t found

Anything by now

You’re just not gonna find it

GO HOME!

Stop lingering

In the fitting rooms

And messing up my racks

Don’t you have anything

better to do?

Well I do!

So go home so I can!

At the time I wrote this I was working at a Clothestime in Hialeah. It was just us an a Payless in this small shopping plaza with no security or lp or anything else but a couple of girls. If it was a weeknight it might just be just a manager and one salesgirl. In the middle of Hialeah. Did I mentioned we would get robbed on an average twice a month? So yeah, not really wanted to linger there half an hour after we were supposed to have closed just because someone was bored.