Strap it on

Strap it on

By Edinah

You stupid fucking bitch

When are you gonna let me fuck you?

It’s  just a fuck or god’s sake

Can we just get it over and done with?

It will take a big load off my back

Come on let me fuck you

Please, please, please.

Well, if this poem doesn't work to get you laid, nothing will.

BYW, when I was loading the image, I really didn't remember what it was going to be, like, if we had drawn a picture or something. I think I'm glad it was just words.
 

Untitled (yes, I am aware we have about 20 of these)

Untitled

By Patty

You fucking tacky flag boy

You don’t even deserve a poem

No idea WTF this is about. I don't remember us hanging out with any flag boys or what a flag boy is. Whatever it is, one of them most have really pissed off Patty.

Horney

Horney

By Edinah

Choke my chicken babe

Choke it now

I’m tired of playing around

I’m telling you to choke my chicken

Before I blow up.

This was really written by Monica but she was going through one of her AbFab phases and chose to call herself Edinah. That's not really how you spell Edina, but that's okay cuz that's not how you spell horny either.

BTW, if you don't know what Absolutely Fabulous is, you severely need to check it out.

 

Pain

Pain

By Amanda

I can feel the pain

Crawling over me

Like a second skin

I want to shed that skin

Like a snake

I'll give it that at least this one makes a bit of sense. I like to get rid of pain too whenever I have it. I think it's something most of us can relate to. Except masochists. Masochist want to wear that pain like a particularly uncomfortable pair  of snake skin boots. 

Ode to a Green Fuzzy Spot I found on the Floor

Ode to a Green Fuzzy Spot I found on the Floor

By Andy

 I have no idea who Andy is, but the title is a Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference, to Vorgon poetry to be exact, so I'm sure I had something to do with it.

Indecisiveness is a nail

In the bicycle tire of humanity

So get off

And flatten the other

So you can actually get somewhere.

The poem starts well enough, indecisiveness as  something that prevents progress. Not sure how flattening the other wheel is supposed to get you anywhere. Maybe it's supposed to be one of those two wrongs that make a right deal, but I don't think it really works in this case.

Oh wait, that never works.