Ode to Morrissey

Another ode to Morrissey that is not even remotely and ode and its not really about Morrissey either, it's about Nine Inch Nails. It's also not signed, but I think Stephanie wrote it (Stephanie, if you are out there, let me know if you did this). It is ripping off The Smiths, so there is a connection.

Ode to Morrissey
(I want to wipe my buttocks with your)
What exactly is she wiping her buttocks with? His toilet paper I hope.

I wanted to see NIN
And I didn’t get to see NIN
And heaven knows
I’m miserable now.
I wanted to see Ministry
But the show was sold out
And heaven knows
I’m miserable now
All I’ve got
Is a big bag of pain

I wonder if she ever did get to see NIN in concert. I've seen them at least 4 or 5 times. There was a time back in the early 90's were NIN was opening for everybody. I saw them open for the Ramones once. Plus I saw them headlining a couple of times too. How could anybody go regularly to concerts in the 90's and somehow manage to miss NIN? I guess I can see that happening if you were going to see like MC Hammer or something like that. I don't think I know anybody who ever went to a Hammer concert tho. Hammer is only funny in retrospect. At the time we would have died of embarrassment if any of us was caught at an MC Hammer concert.
Now tthat I think about it, I think by the time this was written, even people who liked Can't Touch This would have died of embarrassment to be caught in an MC Hammer concert.

Skinhead Poem

Untitled

By Stephanie

I want a little skinhead

That I could call my own

I want a little skinhead

So I can take him home

And if I had a little skinhead

I would tie him up and

Tear off his clothes

And cut him open and

Drink his blood.

This poem definitely needs to be seen written longhand to be fully appreciated. It reminds me of his book I read in junior high called The Pigman where one of the kids did something similar with a poem about a teacher turning him into a mosquito. As far as I know Stephanie never read that book so I will allow that she came up with this on her own.

To Kurt

By Stephanie

You are so pretty

With that hole in your head

Why can’t you love me?

Now that you’re dead

Well, at least this solves the mystery as to what year was it that we published the first issue.

This one didn't have an accompaning illustration. You're welcome.

Ode to Sheep

By Stephanie

The mysteries of sheep
Are known to an exclusive club
We all know what is special
About our furry love
The exquisite downy fur
A carnival to stroke
My words for that sweet mammal
So deep I can but choke
For nothing I can say
To deride my woolen friend
To be by a sheep’s side

And fuck him in his end.

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say this is the best poem ever. And it has an illustration too!


Ug..... I don't know what happened there, it was right side up when I uploaded it. It's 2am, I'll fix it later. you get the gist.

Ode to a Tortured Man

By Stephanie

Morrissey

Delicious piece of manhood

Wasted

You asexual dude

You know I could be

The only one for you

Let me drown myself

In your painfully

Handsome sorrow

You see

You hear

You feel

My pain

The only one who knows

Embodied

In a scrumptious man

Wasted.

It's hard to pick whats better, the poem or the picture. This is one of those rare occasions when I think it was actually good. And that picture - i looks EXACTLY like Morrissey! I bet you would have know it was Morrissey even if you didn't read the poem.