Back in the 90's, I had a hobby of following my friends around at clubs and making them write bad poetry for me. The word poetry was used very loosely. Well, completely incorrectly would be a better term since it was also used for articles, completely fabricated self-help columns and random complete and utter nonsense.
These are the results of those (often drunken) ramblings.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


I don’t think VH1 is
That bad
And MTV is not
That cool


Patty's response to Nancy's previous poem. It was a very wise statement at the time but completely pointless now since both MTV and VH1 suck...or at least they did last time I checked 8 years ago.

What the fuck is going on?

What the fuck is going on?
By Annonymous (Nancy)

MTV is for the cool
VH1 if for those who suck
So what’s the deal with STP
Nirvana and Soundgarden?
Why do I have to tune
Into a channel
To watch my favorite bands
That if I found out
You were watching
I would beat up your ass
What I would like to know is
What the fuck is going on?
I’ve become my worst
A closet VH1 watcher.

So, I guess I gave away the secret, Nancy wrote this one. It's deffinitely her style so I think you guys would have guess even if I had not spoiled the anonymity. It goes to show you how long ago this was written that it mentions MTV and VH1 in relation to music. Not to mention that she lists Stone Temple Pilots and Nirvana as her favorite bands. I'm not sure why she hated VH1 so much, but I do know those of  us that were kids when MTV  came out, held a fondness for it for a long time after it stopped deserving it. The truth is it was cool in the 80's, it's not just nostalgia. But by the early 90's when this was written they had already started on the one way trip to Craptown.


Saturday, January 5, 2013

Fate #3

Fate #3
By Nancy

Sometimes you can’t control
What happens
Fate can really fuck you
If growing your hair long
And running around like a
Makes you feel good inside
Then do it!
You never know when the
Next disgruntal postage
Employee will strike.

Nancy had a habit of calling poems "Fate" as you can see. They were always dark and rather bitter. So you could say her poems were like chocolate. It would be wrong, but you could say it. Obviously, the best part is the surreal line breaks which would create a rather disturbing rhythm if anybody would bother to read it like that.
I don't think the all caps was done on purpose, but I do feel the poem works best if it's shouted so that's how you should read it.


Thursday, January 3, 2013

Taco Bell

Taco Bell
By Naila

Eat pussy all day
Fried, barbequed,
Or any other way
You don’t need knives
Or forks
Just a good tongue
When you’re done
You’ll say yum.

What I remember the most about Naila is that her name was pronounced with an invisible "h". This poem bothers me because I don't like the idea of a knife near a Hoo-hah. Or a fork for that matter.  I also have a problem with naming Taco Bell and then having not one mexican food reference in the whole poem. Couldn't she throw in a chimichanga reference somewhere? That's a fun word. Chimichanga.