Back in the 90's, I had a hobby of following my friends around at clubs and making them write bad poetry for me. The word poetry was used very loosely. Well, completely incorrectly would be a better term since it was also used for articles, completely fabricated self-help columns and random complete and utter nonsense.
These are the results of those (often drunken) ramblings.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Strap it on

Strap it on
By Edinah

You stupid fucking bitch
When are you gonna let me fuck you?
It’s  just a fuck or god’s sake
Can we just get it over and done with?
It will take a big load off my back
Come on let me fuck you
Please, please, please.

Well, if this poem doesn't work to get you laid, nothing will.

BYW, when I was loading the image, I really didn't remember what it was going to be, like, if we had drawn a picture or something. I think I'm glad it was just words.

Untitled (yes, I am aware we have about 20 of these)

By Patty

You fucking tacky flag boy
You don’t even deserve a poem

No idea WTF this is about. I don't remember us hanging out with any flag boys or what a flag boy is. Whatever it is, one of them most have really pissed off Patty.

Friday, June 12, 2015


By Edinah

Choke my chicken babe
Choke it now
I’m tired of playing around
I’m telling you to choke my chicken
Before I blow up.

This was really written by Monica but she was going through one of her AbFab phases and chose to call herself Edinah. That's not really how you spell Edina, but that's okay cuz that's not how you spell horny either.

BTW, if you don't know what Absolutely Fabulous is, you severely need to check it out.


Tuesday, June 9, 2015


By Amanda

I can feel the pain
Crawling over me
Like a second skin
I want to shed that skin
Like a snake
I'll give it that at least this one makes a bit of sense. I like to get rid of pain too whenever I have it. I think it's something most of us can relate to. Except masochists. Masochist want to wear that pain like a particularly uncomfortable pair  of snake skin boots. 

Monday, June 8, 2015

Ode to a Green Fuzzy Spot I found on the Floor

Ode to a Green Fuzzy Spot I found on the Floor
By Andy
 I have no idea who Andy is, but the title is a Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference, to Vorgon poetry to be exact, so I'm sure I had something to do with it.
Indecisiveness is a nail
In the bicycle tire of humanity
So get off
And flatten the other
So you can actually get somewhere.
The poem starts well enough, indecisiveness as  something that prevents progress. Not sure how flattening the other wheel is supposed to get you anywhere. Maybe it's supposed to be one of those two wrongs that make a right deal, but I don't think it really works in this case.
Oh wait, that never works.