Back in the 90's, I had a hobby of following my friends around at clubs and making them write bad poetry for me. The word poetry was used very loosely. Well, completely incorrectly would be a better term since it was also used for articles, completely fabricated self-help columns and random complete and utter nonsense.
These are the results of those (often drunken) ramblings.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Letters TO the Editor

Only our second issue and we were already inundated with letters singing our praises. Of course, these were letters I forced my friends into writing, but let's not dwell on that, shall we?

Letters to the Editor

“It’s funny, scary, sad –it’s got everything. Two thumbs up from the Fruitman”
Frutman, Miami, Fl

“I loved it, it was much better than Cats. I’m going to see it again and again.”
Unsigned, NY, NY
This is a reference to an SNL skit which I have always found hilarious and use constantly even though I strongly suspect nobody ever gets it. Jon Lovitz was a hypnotist with a show on Broadway and he would hypnotize his audience so all the review would say the same thing (I loved it, it was better...etc)
I suspected there was a reference to it in The Sixth Sense when Cole asks Bruce Willis what he thought of his school play and he says it was better than Cats, but I now feel Shaymalan doesn't deserve any credit for anything.

“It’s disgusting and perverted”
Carmen, Miami, Fl
My mother was not amused.

“It’s funky!”
Monica, Miami, Fl

“It’s cheesy and corny”
Naila, Miami, Fl

If unable to keep appointment, kindly give 24 hrs. notice.

I'm not even sure what anybody could have made an appointment for.

Yes we did have voice mail. Or rather I had voice mail in those long ago days before cell phones and email and I printed it out and passed it around for all the world to see. As you can tell, I know better know and go to the trouble of blocking out my personal info even thought it has not been valid in almost 15 years.
In case you can't read what it says.

Guess what?

We got voice mail!

So now when you get that creative urge and can’t find a pen – just pick up the phone and read us your bad poetry! It doesn’t get any easier than this!


Under 18 must get parental permission before calling

We liked throwing random disclaimers to make things look legit.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Issue #2 Letter from the Editor

Hiroshima Club Beat Poetry

Vol 2

October 1994

Letter from the Editor

Welcome to the Hiroshima Club beat Poetry Zine Issue #2.

Due to the overwhelming response to our first issue, we have extended our zine adding new features and articles in addition to the bad poetry and bad artwork you have all come to know and love. So please continue to send us your bad poetry, artwork, articles, etc… As you know, we will print anything. And remember: if you can’t be good, be as bad as you can possibly be.

"Overwhelming response" I love how delusional we were. I guess there was some response, since we had a lot of contributors...but not actual readers. We still don't.

I just realized that the stupid scanner only printed a portion of the page, but you do get to see the bat sticker and the rest was just typing that I transcribed, so I think you can live with it.

Issue #2 Begins

Here it is, at long last the second issue of the Hiroshima club *cue applause*

For some reason I only have a black and white photo. Now that I think about it, the reason is that the photocopies were in black and white. But that's neither here nor there. the point I was trying to make is that the fabulous handpainted background was originally done in color, so here's what it looked like without the title

Since we're on the subject, this is what the back page looks like. I guess it was the October issue. But not necessarily.

Yes, those are pages from a coloring book, and yes I was way past elementary school when I did that. But you know what, that was a very cool coloring book and I wish I still had it. Fabulous way to waste your time.

And we are done with the first issue!

Yes, it's true! I have finished updating the classifieds post, so now we are officially done and ready to start up on issue #2 like I promised - Yay!

In related news:
I just remembered (and by that I mean I read ) that I was going to post some of these classifieds on Craigslist to see what happens, so I think I am going to do that tonite. I'll let you know what happens.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Now with even More updates!

I realize it seems like forever since I have posted anything new but aren't all the pretty pictures worth it? No? Well what do you know? You're not even real. I will continue with the assumption that my audience is imaginary until someone proves me otherwise.

First of, we have some Monsters haunting our dreams, followed by some ranting about babies, some good old fashioned stalking, the always tasty (not really) tofu and finally, a beautiful love poem to Butthead.

And there you have it, now we just have the Classifieds to deal with tomorrow and we are all caught up and can start up with issue #2. And by tomorrow I mean sometime next week.
See you then!

Monday, July 19, 2010

More Updates!

Yes, yes, your eyes don't deceive you I have finally done another update and it is a good one. And yes, I am aware that you don't really exist since nobody ever reads this, but it amuses me to pretend you do.
So without further are our newest picture updates

You will get some lovely new pictures draw by lesbians, or maybe just one particular lesbian. I'm not sure.
A handsome rendition of Morrisey. I know I already had this picture posted, but this one is a much better scan.
Some completely unrelated to anything murdering bats.
And to round it off some Spiderwebs.

There is also Haiku, an ode to Chris Cornell, and that one about Mario's band but they don't really count so much because they didn't have any illustrations. I just scanned the words so they woulnt feel left out.

Monday, July 12, 2010

The Fates have been Updated

I don't know if we were really introspective about fate at the time, or we just had a shortage of titles. Whatever the case, I believe we might have more fates to come in future issues.

The first one is one of Patty's

and this one is from Nancy

I'll post some more updates later tonite.

Monday, July 5, 2010

more scans

Here, I added some more new scans

To Kurt

letter from the editor

Ode to my Fish

terms of endearment

deep thought

Happy Birthday

sexy questionnaire

Deep Thought Page


The Scan is On!

I finally got around to scanning the first issue, so I will be adding the images. I scanned the whole thing so even poems that didn't get any pics will at least get their original view so you can witness all those glorious typos.

I won't be doing them all tonite, but here are a few:

Mystery Poem


Come to Begly



That's good enough for now, it's 1am. Come back tomorrow for more updates.