As usual, a collection of the really important things that we had to say.
One thing is to be obsessed; another thing is to let him know about it
This came about because a friend of mine was obsessed with this guy at her job. The theory was that it was okay that she spent all her time talking about it as long as he didn't find out about it.And BTW, this really is about a friend of mine, not one of those instances where "a friend of mine" really means me. I'm not saying I've never done it, I'm just saying it never inspired a post (cuz then he would know, you know?)
If it feels weird in my mouth I won’t eat it, no matter how good it tastes.
Believe it or not this is about mushrooms.
The club was like a $10 hooker, it sucked!
There is a strong posibility that Monica was not the first person to ever say this, but she was the first one I heard so she gets the credit.
It still makes me giggle every time I read it.
You can’t summon a deep thought. They have to just come to you.
That is true. That didn't stop me from constantly bug people to give me a deep thought. Well, I eventually stopped. Although if anybody wants to send me a new one I will go ahead an print it now.
It just hit me that these are nothing more than twitter alerts now.
The reason you have to put quarters in the tollbooth is to pay the salary of those people that work there.
I once said this to someone for no reason whatsoever and they thought that it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I don't remember who it was, but I think it was a guy, if that narrows it down. Anyway, I figured if one person thought it was that funny, then it was worthy of publishing.
The reason why a centerfold is called a centerfold is cuz it’s in the center and it’s folded.
This one's just true.
Sitting on a loud speaker will massage your legs.
Yeah, your legs.
I was trying to sound saucy there but it doesn't quite work when ALL the letters are in italics.
Chives are stupid.
Well they are! They get in your teeth and they are not really that delicious to begin with. They really add nothing to food but a bit of color.