Deep thoughts Issue 4

Deep thoughts

As usual, a collection of the really important things that we had to say.

One thing is to be obsessed; another thing is to let him know about it

            Aralis

 This came about because a friend of mine was obsessed with this guy at her job. The theory was that it was okay that she spent all her time talking about it as long as he didn't find out about it.And BTW, this really is about a friend of mine, not one of those instances where "a friend of mine" really means me. I'm not saying I've never done it, I'm just saying it never inspired a post (cuz then he would know, you know?)

If it feels weird in my mouth I won’t eat it, no matter how good it tastes.

            Aralis

Believe it or not this is about mushrooms.

The club was like a $10 hooker, it sucked!

            Monica

There is a strong posibility that Monica was not the first person to ever say this, but she was the first one I heard so she gets the credit. 

It still makes me giggle every time I read it.

You can’t summon a deep thought. They have to just come to you.

            Patty

That is true. That didn't stop me from constantly bug people to give me a deep thought. Well, I eventually stopped. Although if anybody wants to send me a new one I will go ahead an print it now.

It just hit me that these are nothing more than twitter alerts now.

 

The reason you have to put quarters in the tollbooth is to pay the salary of those people that work there.

            Aralis  

I once said this to someone for no reason whatsoever and they thought that it was the funniest thing they had ever heard.  I don't remember who it was, but I think it was a guy, if that narrows it down. Anyway, I figured if one person thought it was that funny, then it was worthy of publishing.

 

The reason why a centerfold is called a centerfold is cuz it’s in the center and it’s folded.

            Aralis

 This one's just true.

Sitting on a loud speaker will massage your legs.

            Patty

Yeah, your legs.

I was trying to sound saucy there but it doesn't quite work when ALL the letters are in italics.

 

Chives are stupid.

            Aralis

Well they are! They get in your teeth and they are not really that delicious to begin with. They really add nothing to food but a bit of color.

Deep Thoughts 3.0

A bug is anything disgusting that you find in your garden

Aralis

Okay, so maybe not exactly... but the point is, I know a spider is not an insect, but I still don't want one crawling on my arm.

Vogueing is just break dancing with better clothes

Monica

Never really cared for either one though. Break dancing takes a lot more skill and talent, but you can't really do it in a Gaultier suit. Or maybe you can, that might be something to see.

Trying to be sexy, isn’t

Patty

That's why it's so hard to do it properly. It's like flying.

I’d rather have nuts in my ice cream than nuts in my entrée

Aralis

That's a lie, Pad Thai is delicious.

God, I hope we were talking about peanuts here.

I feel like my ovaries are going to talk

Begly

They didn't.

Don’t worry about the way you look cuz you’ll never look as good as me

Nancy

Always the modest one.

Don’t waste your time thinking about deep thoughts.

Avery

I can't help it!

Once again, a totally unrelated illustration.

Deep Thoughts 2.0

Deep Thoughts

If you want to have a chicken to choke, you better treat a woman with respect.

Monica

Cheetos…they are cheesy and corny.

Naila

Big things come in little packages

Michelle

We had a modest turnout of deep thoughts in this issue, probably because most of the writer's efforts went into the pick-up lines instead.

More Deep Thoughts

There was a whole page full of these, so I decided to post them all together.

Nudity is the best policy

Fruitman

Not really, but let's move on.

Always eat your pastelito cheese first.

Helen

This one had a story behind it. Helen's favorite part of the pastelito was the cheese, so she would just eat around it and save the cheese for last. One day she was eating one and when she was almost done, a friend came over and asked her for a bit and ate all the cheese. That friend of hers was an asshole cuz really, who does that?

Cookies…they are just like little cakes, but crunchy.

Aralis

Well, they are!

Don’t sit on the baby

That’s not babysitting

That’s child abuse

Monica

Truer words were never spoken.

A beeper isn’t a beeper unless it’s connected.

Unknown

This gives you an idea how old these are. I guess you could always substitute beeper with phone.

I don’t know why people think trolls are cute. They steal your cookies, kidnap your babies and hide your car keys.

Aralis

I guess those troll dolls were popular at the time...???

It’s rude to go around sniffing somebody but it’s also rude to be throwing smell at people so they can smell you even if they are not sniffing you.

Monica

Yeh, really! Take a shower people!!

Another Deep Thought

Life sucks…and so do I.
Iry


I don't recall who this Iry was, but she sure sounds like a lady!

Deep Thought

Sex is like painting...
but better.
Dave

It seemed very wise at the time, but now I think it's important to take into consideration who is doing the painting and who is doing the sexing before you make a decision.