Strap it on

Strap it on

By Edinah

You stupid fucking bitch

When are you gonna let me fuck you?

It’s  just a fuck or god’s sake

Can we just get it over and done with?

It will take a big load off my back

Come on let me fuck you

Please, please, please.

Well, if this poem doesn't work to get you laid, nothing will.

BYW, when I was loading the image, I really didn't remember what it was going to be, like, if we had drawn a picture or something. I think I'm glad it was just words.
 

Horney

Horney

By Edinah

Choke my chicken babe

Choke it now

I’m tired of playing around

I’m telling you to choke my chicken

Before I blow up.

This was really written by Monica but she was going through one of her AbFab phases and chose to call herself Edinah. That's not really how you spell Edina, but that's okay cuz that's not how you spell horny either.

BTW, if you don't know what Absolutely Fabulous is, you severely need to check it out.

 

Deep thoughts Issue 4

Deep thoughts

As usual, a collection of the really important things that we had to say.

One thing is to be obsessed; another thing is to let him know about it

            Aralis

 This came about because a friend of mine was obsessed with this guy at her job. The theory was that it was okay that she spent all her time talking about it as long as he didn't find out about it.And BTW, this really is about a friend of mine, not one of those instances where "a friend of mine" really means me. I'm not saying I've never done it, I'm just saying it never inspired a post (cuz then he would know, you know?)

If it feels weird in my mouth I won’t eat it, no matter how good it tastes.

            Aralis

Believe it or not this is about mushrooms.

The club was like a $10 hooker, it sucked!

            Monica

There is a strong posibility that Monica was not the first person to ever say this, but she was the first one I heard so she gets the credit. 

It still makes me giggle every time I read it.

You can’t summon a deep thought. They have to just come to you.

            Patty

That is true. That didn't stop me from constantly bug people to give me a deep thought. Well, I eventually stopped. Although if anybody wants to send me a new one I will go ahead an print it now.

It just hit me that these are nothing more than twitter alerts now.

 

The reason you have to put quarters in the tollbooth is to pay the salary of those people that work there.

            Aralis  

I once said this to someone for no reason whatsoever and they thought that it was the funniest thing they had ever heard.  I don't remember who it was, but I think it was a guy, if that narrows it down. Anyway, I figured if one person thought it was that funny, then it was worthy of publishing.

 

The reason why a centerfold is called a centerfold is cuz it’s in the center and it’s folded.

            Aralis

 This one's just true.

Sitting on a loud speaker will massage your legs.

            Patty

Yeah, your legs.

I was trying to sound saucy there but it doesn't quite work when ALL the letters are in italics.

 

Chives are stupid.

            Aralis

Well they are! They get in your teeth and they are not really that delicious to begin with. They really add nothing to food but a bit of color.

Sexually Frustrated

Sexually Frustrated

By Monica

A cookie

So tiny, yet so full of joy

For whoever gets to eat it

I saw a cookie

A few weeks ago

That I really want to

Sink my teeth into

Such a nice looking cookie

I’m really sure

It tastes pretty good

God I want a piece

Of that cookie.

Also known as Mmm...A Cookie! and the inspiration for one of my first film  school projects. It's the first Hiroshima Club poem to transend media! Enjoy the movie below who also happens to feature the author in one of the starring roles (she plays the friend of the girl who is trying to hook up with the goth guy.)

Fish and Chips

Fish and Chips

By Unknown

What is Arthur’s Treasure? Is it his girlfriend’s box

That smells like fish and he munches on it while

Watching old 70’s reruns? Or is it the secret way

He batter his fish with that special homemade

Batter. Whatever his secret  is, we will never know

But it sure does smell fishy in here.

It says Unknown, but I'm pretty sure this was written by Monica. She would get this intense hatred for random stores in the mall. Not that she had ever shopped or eaten there, if she could see it from the food court stand where she worked and she could find any reason to disapprove, she would write a poem about it.

 I must say this is a particularly unpleasant drawing that accompanies this poem. I can't even think of anything else to say about it, I just don't want to look at it anymore.