Strap it on

Strap it on

By Edinah

You stupid fucking bitch

When are you gonna let me fuck you?

It’s  just a fuck or god’s sake

Can we just get it over and done with?

It will take a big load off my back

Come on let me fuck you

Please, please, please.

Well, if this poem doesn't work to get you laid, nothing will.

BYW, when I was loading the image, I really didn't remember what it was going to be, like, if we had drawn a picture or something. I think I'm glad it was just words.
 

Fish and Chips

Fish and Chips

By Unknown

What is Arthur’s Treasure? Is it his girlfriend’s box

That smells like fish and he munches on it while

Watching old 70’s reruns? Or is it the secret way

He batter his fish with that special homemade

Batter. Whatever his secret  is, we will never know

But it sure does smell fishy in here.

It says Unknown, but I'm pretty sure this was written by Monica. She would get this intense hatred for random stores in the mall. Not that she had ever shopped or eaten there, if she could see it from the food court stand where she worked and she could find any reason to disapprove, she would write a poem about it.

 I must say this is a particularly unpleasant drawing that accompanies this poem. I can't even think of anything else to say about it, I just don't want to look at it anymore.

Let Me

By Nancy

Let me strip you from the waist down

Let me tie you up in the closet

Let me pour hot fudge

On your happily hard genitalia

When it cools

Let me lick it up

Let me bathe you

In lemony fresh Pledge

And let the dust have its way with you

First of all I need to add this disclaimer: don't try this at home.

I cannot be responsible for any 3rd degree chocolate burns on your man's goodies because someone got too carried away by Nancy's poetry. Then again, if you are not smart enough to realize hot sticky substance + extra sensitive body part = bad, maybe it's a good thing if you don't procreate.

Would you get Dirty with me?

The smudges on the page were done on purpose. It was supposed to be dirt. Nobody got it back then either, even though I wrote "Dirt, get it?" with an arrow pointing to it. It's okay, it was funny to me.

Would you get Dirty with me?

Ew no, you're like my brother!

By Fruitman in Wonderland

Once again, the lines are more to do with making the poem look symmetrical than an actual need for the line to end at that particular point.

Would you…let me tie you up

Against the banister with

Handcuffs?

Would you… let me pour

Juices all over your naked

Body so I can drink them?

That just seems messy. I just keep picturing it would have to be a very oddly shaped concave body to be able to hold liquids. It would be like one of those things where they serve sushi on naked people only this one guy would have this hollow spot like on his stomach or his chest where they would serve juice and it would look kinda gross so maybe it would be a good thing to have at say, a weight watchers social, where people are actually trying to be put off sugary beverages. Have some water instead! It's just crazy enough to work...Fruitman, you're a genius!

Would you… wear leather

Underwear so I can taste

You?

What is the correlation between leather and taste. Is it like MSG where it brings up the flavor?

Would you…open yourself to

Me?

Would you…get dirty with

Me?