Back in the 90's, I had a hobby of following my friends around at clubs and making them write bad poetry for me. The word poetry was used very loosely. Well, completely incorrectly would be a better term since it was also used for articles, completely fabricated self-help columns and random complete and utter nonsense.
These are the results of those (often drunken) ramblings.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Issue #2 Classifieds

We couldn't give our classifieds away, so I would sometimes fill up space by putting random business cards I found, I don't even know who those people were. Back then if you handed anything to me, I considered it a submission. I won't bore you with repeats from the first issue. Needless to say, we recycled our fake classified ads a lot. I'll just post the new additions.

SuperPatty Information Hotline

What’s SuperPatty up to?

Future appearances…her latest rendezvous…get the latest information.

Write to:

Superpatty Info hotline

This goes with my theory that if you don't have hype, you just need to create it. So what if SuperPatty's next appearance was at the record store (that she worked at), so what if she really wasn't up to anything in particular? It was exclusive information and that's why you had to have it. (Not that anybody ever did).

The sexy Dave Greeting Card Company

For free catalogue send SASE to sexydave c/o Begly

This is confusing to me. I had a couple of Daves at the time, and this could have come from either one of them, but then it says c/o Begly at the end which makes me suspect it might have just been Begly writing sexy stories about Dave. Only problem is, I don't think Begly knew either of them. Who was this extra Dave, and just how sexy was he?

Patty’s pet peeve:

Breathing thu only one nostril

Still true to this day.

1 comment:

  1. Are the Classifieds still free?

    This could be my chance to launch my one-man, not-so-enthusiastic detective agency.