We couldn't give our classifieds away, so I would sometimes fill up space by putting random business cards I found, I don't even know who those people were. Back then if you handed anything to me, I considered it a submission. I won't bore you with repeats from the first issue. Needless to say, we recycled our fake classified ads a lot. I'll just post the new additions.
SuperPatty Information Hotline
What’s SuperPatty up to?
Future appearances…her latest rendezvous…get the latest information.
Superpatty Info hotline
This goes with my theory that if you don't have hype, you just need to create it. So what if SuperPatty's next appearance was at the record store (that she worked at), so what if she really wasn't up to anything in particular? It was exclusive information and that's why you had to have it. (Not that anybody ever did).
The sexy Dave Greeting Card Company
For free catalogue send SASE to sexydave c/o Begly
This is confusing to me. I had a couple of Daves at the time, and this could have come from either one of them, but then it says c/o Begly at the end which makes me suspect it might have just been Begly writing sexy stories about Dave. Only problem is, I don't think Begly knew either of them. Who was this extra Dave, and just how sexy was he?
Patty’s pet peeve:
Breathing thu only one nostril
Still true to this day.