Back in the 90's, I had a hobby of following my friends around at clubs and making them write bad poetry for me. The word poetry was used very loosely. Well, completely incorrectly would be a better term since it was also used for articles, completely fabricated self-help columns and random complete and utter nonsense.
These are the results of those (often drunken) ramblings.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wansetta’s Party Tips

Hello, I’m Wansetta the party tip girl. Where there’s a party, there’s Wansetta. Academy award wining, outrageous, flexible and tolerant to modern living society.

At long last, the highly anticipated first appearance of Wansetta Boom Boom for your reading pleasure. Her party tips was her monthly column, but I believe she might have written some poems too.

Every month I’ll give party tips for those savage, exotic, glamorous and hideous guests of yours.

Remember, this was the Party Monster era.

Dear Wansetta,

I’m kind of, u, broke but I want to have a cool party. What should I do?

Cheap Teen

Do I really need to tell you all the correspondence was made up?

Cheap Teen,

We all are broke at times and run into a little problem. Listen Teen Bean, run to the kitchen, rip open a (box?) of Froot Loops and throw them in a bowl, surprise! Fruit salad. Go into the fridge and pop open some Sunkist soda and left over cherry Jell-o mix all together; add a touch of whisky…spiked fruit punch!

Your party will be a hit! Just don’t play any Bing Crosby or Barbara Streisand records!

Toddle loo!

Hmmm, I really thought there was more than one letter per month. I guess she was just warming up. BTW, you can totally get away with serving dry cereal at a party. My sister and I have done it a couple of times as a joke and nobody even blinked an eye, they just ate it. We have a really great recipe too:

one part frosted flakes

one part cheetos

mix and enjoy.

You're welcome.

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