Letters to the Editor Issue 5

Letters to the editor

Apparently I did find those letters

Voice mail

Or they were just messages on my voice mail? Remember voice mail? Nobody uses that anymore even though it still exists. Sometimes talking is so much easier than typing, specially when you're driving and you only have till the light changes to leave your message. The problem is when you leave a voice mail nobody listens to it, they just text you back "what's up?" and then you have to wait for another red light to answer it but there is no more sure fire way to never get a red light than to need one for something.  I guess you can just text while driving but I'd rather not get into a car accident. I guess that makes me a square.

    What a great idea! a mini-magazine which explores different moods, genders, his spelling, not mine fashion, movie reviews, tofu recipes, clubs, bars, sexual activities, party tips, trash telling columns and poems galore.

     I think that everyone should get their hands on this zine. If you are gay, a freak, punk, black, white, Hispanic, heterosexual, bisexual, Chinese, this zine is for you.

    Best wishes to the staff of the Hiroshima Club Beat. It’s definitely more than a zine.

The Fruitman in Miami aka Albert aka Wansetta Boom Boom

Poem my little cousin made up but I’m gonna take credit for it: I think Begly's cousin stole this poem from someone else too

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Candy is sweet

And so are you

I have a deep thought too:

I’m so freaking bored at work – dead bored.

By Begly

It’s great! Original! Funny!

It lets you release your frustrations from work, school or home (living with overprotective parents). Keep up the great work!

            Mister Man, Miami, Fl

I have no idea who made this post.

Why is a chickpea neither a chick nor a pea?

            Begly

Begly loved Linda Richmond back then.

Would you get Dirty with me?

The smudges on the page were done on purpose. It was supposed to be dirt. Nobody got it back then either, even though I wrote "Dirt, get it?" with an arrow pointing to it. It's okay, it was funny to me.

Would you get Dirty with me?

Ew no, you're like my brother!

By Fruitman in Wonderland

Once again, the lines are more to do with making the poem look symmetrical than an actual need for the line to end at that particular point.

Would you…let me tie you up

Against the banister with

Handcuffs?

Would you… let me pour

Juices all over your naked

Body so I can drink them?

That just seems messy. I just keep picturing it would have to be a very oddly shaped concave body to be able to hold liquids. It would be like one of those things where they serve sushi on naked people only this one guy would have this hollow spot like on his stomach or his chest where they would serve juice and it would look kinda gross so maybe it would be a good thing to have at say, a weight watchers social, where people are actually trying to be put off sugary beverages. Have some water instead! It's just crazy enough to work...Fruitman, you're a genius!

Would you… wear leather

Underwear so I can taste

You?

What is the correlation between leather and taste. Is it like MSG where it brings up the flavor?

Would you…open yourself to

Me?

Would you…get dirty with

Me?

Thrift Shopping

Trivia: those "thrift store clothing drawings" were really part of a build your own snowman sticker set. Because stickers are fun. I really enjoy stickers, but can seldom find an appropriate place to put them. It's so much easier when you're a little kid and you just put them on whatever is in front of you.

Thrift Shopping :A hobby that should be respected

By Fruitman

I believe this was the Fruitman's first submission for the zine but he ended up being quite prolific both under his pen name and his secret identity. See if you can guess who it is.

Thrift stores are cool yet musty

Sometimes you’ll find a dress,

And end up with a lamp that’s a bit too dusty.

The prices are good if you look real hard enough

$1.00 or $3.00 some items are just a bargain,

hold on to those goodies so you can do some travelin’.

Even though they smell at times,

I wouldn’t recommend the Vic’s mask,

Which Aralis mentioned in her last rhyme.

If you are clever enough you could change the prices.

For those who are better, you can even misplace some items.

So now you know what to do,

The next time you go thrifting,

Misplace those old shoes.

Ah, the Fruitman and I used to go thrift shopping on almost a weekly basis. Those were the days. That was before it became trendy and the stores wised up to how much the stuff was really worth. Back then most of the clothing I owned was older than me.