Back in the 90's, I had a hobby of following my friends around at clubs and making them write bad poetry for me. The word poetry was used very loosely. Well, completely incorrectly would be a better term since it was also used for articles, completely fabricated self-help columns and random complete and utter nonsense.
These are the results of those (often drunken) ramblings.






Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Nancy

Reader Profile

Reader of the month

You've seen her work, now you get to know Nancy's deepest darkest thoughts!

This month I was asked to be reader of the month. According to the answers given in previous reader profiles, I have some suggestions that could lead to a more interesting view of the person involved.

(Oh yeah? Well I am all powerful and what I say goes. I would like to add she made up all these extra questions – editor)

She made tons of extra questions. She holds the record for our longest reader profile ever. I do have to admit, she's got some really funny answers.

Name

Nancy

dob

5/12/67

Eyes

Green

Hair

Sexy, blonde and long

Nickname

Scorpia or anything you want

Fave insect

Scorpion

Fave flower

Venus fly trap

What’s in your pocket/purse? What would you like to have in there?

Oooohh baby…

Do you prefer baths or showers? And who with?

The who is more important than the bath or shower.

Underwear preference

Yes

Dream TV show appearance

To be skinny enough to appear on the playboy channel

Lucky clothes

I have more luck naked

Fave color

Black

Last book read

Taltos by Anne Rice

Dream holiday

Anything that don’t involve a hospital

Who would you like to tuck you in at night?

I would rather have someone untuck me

Is there any reason why people are afraid of you?

Only when I talk

Think of a movie

Pulp Fiction

What word best describes your sense of humor?

Perverse

If someone wrote a story about you and had some revealing things to say that might damage your self-image, what would you do?

Tell all, no matter what.

The police question you about a friend involved in politically radical activities, do you cooperate?

I’m probably involved

If you are a high school principal, will you hire a competent teacher that might be gay?

Yes, sexuality has no effect on education

You find out your spouse once made a porno, what do you do?

Rent it

Your boss’ fly is open, what do you do?

Laugh

If you are attractive, do you use your looks to get ahead in your career?

Yes

Walking along the beach, you see a couple having sex. Do you watch?

Depends on what they look like


And now for the best part, Nancy stationary! Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, that was typed on a page of Nancy Stationary. She actually had notebooks made when she was Imperial Miss Florida. I have one. Of course I had t o publish it.


Now I wish I know what was that she wrote down there and I covered with my message of superiority. It's something about thanking me for giving her this opportunity or some other pageant formality like that.

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