Back in the 90's, I had a hobby of following my friends around at clubs and making them write bad poetry for me. The word poetry was used very loosely. Well, completely incorrectly would be a better term since it was also used for articles, completely fabricated self-help columns and random complete and utter nonsense.
These are the results of those (often drunken) ramblings.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Sexy Questionnaire Results

These were the results to the previous issue's notorious questionnaire. The math made no sense whatsoever so I made up some graphs to make it look more official. I mean I made them now, what I made back them sucked as you can see.

bestiality got 0% votes all around

bondage was much more popular with 94% female, 55% males and 79% total.

necrophilia had a poor showing, probably because we meant real dead people. Vampire/undead section was further down. Still 9% of males said yes with 0 votes from the ladies.

incest 27% males, 22% females said yes

nobody wanted to have sex with their mother

orgies got a surprisingly good turnout with 73% of the males and 50% of females even tho I bet to this day very few of the people who said yes have actually been in an orgy.

cross dressing was no surprise with 27% males and 88% of the female. The thing is, a lot of people considered a girl wearing jeans and a t-shirt to be cross dressing so the female numbers should really have been a lot higher.

Kama Sutra oil of love was by far the most popular thing with 94% male and 91% female. I still have no idea why this was so popular in the 90's. I think maybe it was because they had a kiosk in the mall really close to the store where a lot of us worked. Subliminal advertising, I guess.

Strap-on was very confusing to most of the boys who did not understand how or why were they strapping this device on. After having the concept explained to them, still 22% said yes along with 27% of the girls.

velcro sheets got 50% and 64% male which is pretty good considering nobody knew what they were. I guess that is the percent of people who don't like to admit they don't know what something means.

Nobody wanted a hamster up the butt.

The undead were as popular back then as they are today with 77% of the females and 55% of the males.

Candle wax had the exact same stats which may or may not be a mistake.

Crotchless panties got 50% females 73% of the males.

Saran Wrap 55% male and 45% females mostly due to the popularity of Fried Green Tomatoes.

Prostitution 22% males and 45% females. It should be noted that the women polled thought they were being asked to play dress up while the guys thought they were renting real whores.

Harness got 50% male and 64% females

blow up dolls only got 11% males and 9% females and I even think that's way too much for the females.

exhibitionism got 50% females and 55% males which I know is a vicious lie and in reality way higher.

Voyeurism got the exact same results and my exact same opinion.

Public places were popular for sex with 66% females and 73% of males.

Underage, I feel the need to specify again, mean someone younger than you, not a child. Being that most people polled were around 20, 17 was technically illegal even if still socially acceptable. Anyway, 61% females said yes and 64% of the males.

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